Trust

"Trust is a confusing thing. It seems so simple, but when you try to pin it down, it can be elusive. I think of the way that my body sits on a surface that's new to me, unknown. And how my muscles remain tight, anticipating anything, and I'm constantly aware of that surface. Over time, with familiarity, I can relax and start to lean back. For many of us, that initial tension exists so much of the time. We expend so much energy watching, and calculating, trying to predict, reading signals in people, ready for anything to change suddenly. Preparing to be disappointed. So much energy spent. We talk about trust as something you build, as if it is a structure or a thing, but in that building there seems to be something about letting go.

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That friendship that never was

I know I'm probably overreacting, that's kind of my thing. But overreactions sometimes lead us to some truthful thoughts, you know? I mean, picture this scenario. Your girlfriend goes to the toilet before you and she changes the usual toilet paper orientation. It's probably nothing, but you can't avoid thinking that she's invading your space and taking liberties that you'd preferred her not to. That tiny action makes you think about the whole relationship and somehow, you end up wondering whether she's the right one or not. Suddenly you realize the two of you have been living a few tough months and that the toilet paper was only one example of all the times you didn't like her. My point is... an overreaction is rarely an overreaction. Actually, we should pay more attention to those crazy moments when we play Sherlock, making connections between two apparently completely different situations. Or in which we doubt of our own mental health. Those are the moments when everything comes clear and we notice that we've been lying to ourselves and looking the other way, just to preserve something that we thought, made us happy.

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